Christian Missions · Followers · Midwifery · Mothers · Personal Life · Prayer · Witnessing

When Doors Are Closing – Windows Too!

So, hello friends. Here’s an update on my journey…I know, I’ve been posting videos and passion, so I think it’s time to let ya’ll know where I’m at.
So, first of all, I want to say God opened MANY doors closed before to get me here, where I am today, spiritually and physically as well. He is a lock-breaker, of doors that were locked without permission. Or just of doors that were meant to be locked, but are now meant to be opened. I praise Him for this! This opportunity to learn about something that fascinates me – I have to admit, the idea of helping further the Kingdom of heaven, rather than just watching birth happen, is the main reason I’m here. And God knows that. For sure. He made it possible for me to come – I thought my deadline for sending in my Application was long over when Rose asked if I still wanted to apply. I wasn’t sure if my Daddy would let me. Or if I could take leaving them for another 3 months. Or if I could pay. Or handle the supposed (and true) intensity of this program…but yet,
I’m at Mercy in Action Midwifery school in Idaho. I have been here for one month. I have 15 fellow students, all pursuing midwifery on differing levels. We have nurses, birth center workers, naturalists, EMTs, and total newbies who have never even seen the birth of a cat or cow, much less a baby.
The classes go till late November, right before Thanksgiving.

I have never done anything so intense academically! But, seriously, with my darn lack of hard work, I need to be whipped into structure…I say this when I spend some nights up till morning…like 5 or 8 am working to send my assignment in at 8:30. But that’s just a few of us here. Some of the ladies finish at about..ooh, a day early? 🙂

While I’ve been here, at a wonderful school that has a chore schedule, bunk beds (I got the top – just like the first week at camp!), crazy-sweet ladies, hours and hours of school, fascinating subject matter, entertaining husband-and-wife instructors, 3 cute lil kiddos living with us, 35 lbs of text books, ducks in the back yard everyday, cute over-heard conversations of soon-to-be midwives, late nights and early mornings, delicious snack breaks, amazing video nights, and plenty of adventures around Boise – some doors for interning after this program have closed.

1. As of January, there’s a rumor going around (we’re pretty sure it’s not a rumor; it’s true) that it will be unacceptable to NARM (National Association of Registered Midwives) to have any overseas interning count for your certification process. This means no possible overseas interning for me, unless I just go for volunteer work but don’t mind that it doesn’t count for anything in getting my clinicals.
2. Even though I knew midwifery wasn’t accepted in my home state of Iowa, I now know this; Certified Professional Midwives are illegal in Iowa – Certified Nurse Midwives are legal. There are practicing CPMs in Iowa, and I could intern with them and it would count as my clinicals. But, if for some reason, the midwife I was interning with was arrested, I too would have the chance of being arrested and prosecuted in court. But, if I wasn’t caught – I could LEGALLY receive my certification.

I have been searching for a position in Wisconsin somewhere, and as of yet, no opportunity has listened to my knocking, and hasn’t come knocking yet at my door! All the midwives and birth centers I emailed were non-Christ committed, and I desire to work with a Christian midwife or clinic. I am now on the search in Minnesota! Hehe…
My prayer though, is that the precious Father I have is sending me a great interning position! I just know He has a plan, and I don’t doubt these closing doors will only lead me on to the door my Father will break down and tell me to enter if I wish. I don’t won’t hear any stupid remarks that God will open a window – He doesn’t have to work that cheap for me to climb through and cut my fingers on the glass – I mean, I sure wouldn’t care – but I know He works more powerfully than that. But only when I wait on Him to be specific. He never fails His plans – but we can fail at ours. I mean, whatever in me ever wishes to build my own house, kill it Father! I hate man-made plans and doctrines! I have encountered too much of this among supposed followers – building their own future.

For some reason, I see the hands of Jesus, stretched out on a cross, blood and nails – there for me. But DIE me! And curse me to HELL heavenly Father if I take grace in vain and not allow you to build me up from the structure of those hands held out for building upon! Curse me – kill me – oh how I hate and DESPISE the ideas of men and women who seek to build their own gospel – a gospel that makes them the object of life. Where “Christ loves them OH SO MUCH!” and “HIS LOVE NEVER FAILS TO MAKE their DREAMS COME TRUE!” because, for truth, God don’t care about my ambitions that would supposedly make me happy. I mean, HE DIED TO FULFILL HIS PURPOSES! Yes, Jesus didn’t DIE TO FULFILL OUR PURPOSES! I can’t wait…I cannot wait till our purposes have died and His reigns and is established. Blessed be the will of the Lord my God!

It is difficult to follow the Lord’s will, in this world of the Gospel that teaches “Jesus loves you and wants you to be happy, so do what you want!”. I do believe though, that God gives us choices – an array of wonderful choices – tools we could use for the Kingdom – He says, in a way, “Choose a weapon” and we can choose. But first of all – when surveying our choices, we need to make sure we are looking at the available choices – like, you know – on Netflix, where you type something in and you see the name of the movie you want? And then you see it isn’t available unless you pay an extra fee for it? Our choices as followers aren’t limited to only the sky – I mean, there are many areas we need not use as careers! (First of all, Christ doesn’t ask me to find a career – He says He’s the way.) Like, we shouldn’t find a Christian dealing in the business of porn mags. And yes, maybe you are a wonderful singer, blessed with amazing vocal chords – but if you can’t sing with a pure heart for the Father – don’t sing! Choose another tool to combat the enemy and work with the Father! We need to listen to His voice though. I mean, God sometimes does say GO YE THEREFORE TO NINEVAH. God can be bossy if He wants to friends. He’s God. And what kind of Father would He be if He didn’t tell His children the right path when He knew it? We take advice from everyone and say “Hmmm, they say I’d be good at this or that, they might be right!” when, we don’t hardly ever ask God “Do you have an opinion on what I spend my entire life doing?” – Christians! We need to WAKE UP.

How did I get here again? Oh yeah. Doors closing. Windows too.
My prayer: Lord, open my eyes and ears to what you know is for me, and let me watch you break down doors. While I build on those stretched out hands and find security in them, because they didn’t stay there – Your son is alive and holding me.


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