It’s hard growing up. It’s hard to see your friends all drive off in their little beat up neons to far off schools and mission fields. I mean, who enjoys being one of the last to drive off into the morning sunshine on the wings of adventure? Not me. I’ve been ready to ‘spread my wings’ since I was about 12. 😀 I guess you could say I’ve always had big dreams. I was going to go off and be a great writer and get my first book published by Bethany House. I was going to buy a big parcel of land and build a log cabin on it. I was going to raise horses. I was going to…well, you get the picture. I’ve had many a dream. And, to be honest, I wouldn’t mind fulfilling any of the above dreams still. I want to be a writer, a farmer of sorts, a ‘horse woman’, and missionary woman. If you emptied my pockets where I stood you’d find a lot of little pieces and fragments of day dreams and ever growing hopes and aspirations. I am an Anne of Green Gables of sorts. Most of my dreams are a bit to ask for. I expect too much of the world and it’s people. I expect a happily ever after.
My friend Annie, whom I’ve spoken about at least once here, is shipping out to Europe tomorrow to do a YWAM DTS.
My friend Alyssa has already gone to Bible school, gotten her CNA and gone to Ethiopia on a two month missions trip and the other day she bought a house.
My friend Rachael has gone to Ethiopia with her sister, and is going to Bible school for 2 years in Minnesota.
My friend Emily has gotten every scholarship she’s applied for and is majoring in music and German and plays flute like a seasoned professional.
Those are just a few of them. I could go on and on about their big steps toward adult-hood. And me? I’m going to work at camp for the summer. 🙂 Don’t worry, I’m not downing it. I’m excited. It’s just that I see a bit of a difference in their steps and mine. And maybe it’s because my dreams are different than theirs. And then again, maybe our dreams aren’t so different. We all simply want to glorify God and meet Him in everything – to grow closer – and I want to get as close as possible. I don’t care if His glory kills me. But I wonder what God has different in store for me? And of course, as write these words what music comes on? 🙂 God has a way of reminding you how much He cares. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYodp9xVdpk – She Loved – by Jeff and Sheri Easter.
I want people to know me as the girl that loves. Not the girl that is published by a big name company. Not the girl who loves horses, not the girl who goes on mission trips or who sponsors many children or adopted handfuls of kiddos. Not even as a Gladys Aylward or a Katie Davis or Elisabeth Elliot. Okay…guess the song that’s play right now? Yeah…ummm, I think God’s trying to tell me something today – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOWgS9zLMks – When We’re Gone, Long Gone…..yeah, Jesus is all about love. I want people to remember the love of Jesus. I don’t really want to be the world’s greatest anything. I just want to show love – the thing that makes my heart ache is seeing those without love. And the thing that makes my heart near burst? Showing love. Holding a little one in my arms. Sitting next to the little boy who’s lonely. Telling the girl who’s doubting her beauty that her real beauty is evident. Promising to pray for a struggling mom. Encouraging those around me, reminding them or even showing them for the first time that they matter to God and to me. That’s what my life is about. And sometimes I lose sight of that…I forget (not for very long though) that my purpose is pointing people to God in love. To hold the broken hearted and to laugh with the lonely and bitter. To cry with those who are crying and to ache when others ache. This is truly my calling. To draw to Jesus my love through drawing those around me to Him. This is my story.
To love. 🙂 And boy, am I excited!