You sit there in the darkness of your room crying. But you can’t grasp why. You can’t understand what’s wrong with you. You want out. You don’t know why you feel this way. Or how you ever got here. The shadows bending over you whisper “You’re lost….you’ll never get out….there is no way out….you will always be in the darkness….” You scream. But no one hears you. The silence still reigns. “What is wrong with me??!?” You grasp your face, as the tears soak your dirty sleeves. “Someone help me!!!!!!!!!” And still no hero comes riding on his white steed. The shadows still tower above your tired frail soul. You fall to the ground in a heap of pent of emotion. The weeping you can’t contain now spills into the night. Sounding ghostly and eerie. The wind rustles the leafless trees. The thunder shakes you even harder in the night.
“GOD! HELP ME! I’M LOST!!!” Then the tears stop. The thunder is quieted. The wind is stilled. The silence has been utterly sliced in two. Your heart slows.
“Here I am child…why do you cry out?”
“I’m lost God! I’m lost! Why did you leave me alone like this???”
“Child…I never left you. Don’t you know that? I would never abandon you!”
“Then how come I didn’t feel you at my side? How come I’m alone in this dark forest? How come I am cold? How come I am so hungry? How come I’m so LOST? How come…”
“Relax my child…you feel alone and cold and hungry because you left MY side….I never leave you…ever. You walked away – and right when things were just going to get better….I tried to tell you, but you left MY side. Child, that is what happens when you leave me. I don’t put you in the forest. I don’t give you a sense of aloneness. I don’t leave you without warmth and nourishment….you walk away from Me. That is why you feel lost my child…..that is why you are hurting.”
You sit there. Your eyes sore from crying. Your throat burning from the screams. And then you get it.
“God?” you ask humbly and quietly,
“Yes my child?”
“Can we start over? I mean, like can you help me get out of this mess? Get all cleaned up and find a way out of this forest and get a good meal and warm clothes and that feeling of love and peace back? I’m so sorry God! I’m so sorry I blamed you! I’m so sorry I ever left you! I’m so sorry – ”
“I know – I’m sorry too, I never enjoy my time without you child. That is why I will welcome you back. And yes – we will surely start over. Everything will be fine. Just stay by my side.”
You look around and see that you aren’t so close to the beginning as you thought you were – in fact – you get right back on the path and things feel better than ever….your hand held tightly in his, the warmth of his love wrapped around your shoulders like a cloak, and you know…..you just know…….that things are going to get better……
“Thank you for coming back….for me…..I never want to feel that way again!”
“You’re welcome child, I’m glad you’re back.”
The path looks brighter than ever.
(I wrote this story in November of 2010…since then God has come to me in this still, sweet voice many more times than I can count. Have you ever expierienced our Father like this? If there is ever a time when you are hurting like this, cry out to our Daddy…He always comes.)
Please comment and subscribe!